One-On-One: Talk about the box

One of my team members recently was promoted to a less defined job. She was enthusiastic but a bit lost. I was sharing guidelines and expectations between business trips and tensions started to build up. I was not happy with her results and I suspect she was not happy with my lack of support. Even with more communications, expectations were still fuzzy. It was not a great start. How were we going to get out of the funk? Our good old monthly one-on-one meeting is what finally worked.

At Solpak, every month, a one-on-one meeting occurs between staff members and their team leader. Although it may seem quite ordinary, our focus in those meetings is talking about the proverbial box. Imagine a bunch of children playing in a sandbox, working together on building a castle, moving trucks around. They cooperate but also fight, yell and sometimes leave the sandbox altogether. Adults are not that different in the workplace and that is why everyone needs a routine exchange about that box. Here are the 3 wins of those one-on-ones:

1. It creates a Safe Space

   When managed correctly, a one-on-one creates a safe and confidential environment to discuss the REAL issues. No one else is around, the purpose of the meeting is clear and the respect is mutual. After that almost traumatic new job start, my team member finally had a moment where she felt safe to discuss her concerns.

   She knew we could exchange openly about what was going on in the box and felt better as soon as the meeting started. We were two people looking from the outside trying to figure out together what was going on. It's a very safe environment.

2. It reframes everyone's thinking

   We spend most of our professional life trying to either do something for someone else or fix problems created by our previous activity. Constantly navigating between these two extremes, we sometimes get stuck without realizing we are looping IN the box. Enter the one-on-one: instead of being the object of the issue, we become the detached observer.

   We see the issues at hand very differently and become more creative in resolving them. Combine a safe space with a different frame on the challenges discussed and you get a fresh approach to resolving these.

3. It smoothes the daily grind

   A routine one-on-one meeting allows for a reset. If done monthly, it works like a charm on the daily grind. We allow our frustrations to be voiced, we have found creative ways to address issues and we feel refreshed for the following days. Talking ABOUT the box gave us perspective and smoothed out the edges of the daily grind. As new challenges arise, we become more resilient because we know we will be addressing those in the next one-on-one. It becomes a subtle yet important factor in happiness at the office.

In this post's particular story, our one-on-one was one of the most productive exchanges we've had. The safe space allowed her to share her feelings and express her frustrations. We looked at the expectations gap on both sides and figured out what needed to be done to fix the issues. Since that day, most of our exchanges have been much smoother and more pleasant.

Do you take the time monthly to sit one-on-one with your team members?

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